I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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