Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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