Pappa wants mamma naked
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
only if we run a train.
done.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
