It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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