part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
