Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
