I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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