is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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