Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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