Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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