I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
