if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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