You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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