Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
