Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Randomize
