He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize