she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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