I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
