Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
