Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
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