Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
