why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
