So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
We're not piercing ourselves today.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
