he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
