Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
