Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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