new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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