I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
