Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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