if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
