Christians are straight up FREAKS
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
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