I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
