pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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