well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
