What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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