i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
