so let's talk penis.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
