we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
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