had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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