My liver just broke up with me...
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
