Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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