Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
