help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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