so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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