I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
