I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
