adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
