Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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