therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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