Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
