I'm jealous of your bromance
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
