and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
