And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
