How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I've blown a few things in my day
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
