It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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