if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
