You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
