Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
